Melora through Joanna Neff (Jyoti Alla-An) 

Following is an edited transcription of a Melora session in which both my and a friend's questions about our relationship with our respective Higher Selves are answered. It is clear that even if we don't/can't sense Higher Beings, it doesn't mean that they are NOT there! So it is with our Higher Self. By including more personal aspects of this session, I am letting readers and clients know that I undergo my own spiritual struggles from time to time. What Melora refers to at the end of the article is that since I had not worked with Melora directly for almost two years, I wasn't at all sure she would "be there" for me for this session. Right before we began, I felt the old, familiar Melora energy very strongly, and then I knew we would have a powerful session.

(from a session with a friend on 7/12/09)

MELORA: We are Melora, and we welcome you today. Your question prompts us to say something about the relationship with one's Higher Self. People who believe that they should follow whatever their Higher Self "wants" for them are opening themselves up to enslavement, either by their Higher Self or by some being masquerading as their Higher Self . . . like an astral entity. You all are allowed free will, and you can trust yourself to make decisions as a being. You can trust that you have the right to make those decisions for yourself in this embodiment, to be happy with those decisions and not to worry about whether your Higher Self approves.

Now, in our discussion of soul hierarchies-and in our discussion of the Higher Self's role-we have explained that the Higher Self does indeed get these "spiritual brownie points" earned by the sufferings and travails of the embodied versions of you. We don't mean to sound sarcastic about this, but in the Earth zone-because of the density and the darkness-suffering seems to be the only way that people's souls can advance.

However, in reality, suffering is not really required for soul advancement. We hope you are understanding our answer. Suffering only seems to be what purifies people, that advances them or makes them grow. It is not really the Higher Self that created the situation in which only suffering advances the Soul. Thus, you have the right to trust yourself to keep advancing at the Soul level without suffering.

The next step in that deductive process, or that rational line of thought, is that your Higher Self would embrace choices you make that would liberate you and make you feel wonderful. It's only those in embodiment, and those "historic" and experiential illusions that all the great saints had to suffer or to be martyrs . . . that is at the most extreme degree. Those beliefs have a grip on many, or most, people, and those beliefs can be resolved and changed by your free will and your intention.

Our Jyoti is showing us the character Scarlet O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind": "As God is my witness, I will never be hungry again!" Those moments of life-changing, gut-wrenching commitment and intention enable you to manifest what you really want. Until you have that level of commitment, you will go back-and-forth, as on a see-saw.

ER: Speaking of Higher Selves, in a way it's almost like they're wanting us to make our own decisions, because that's how they experience things through us. It's not like we come in with everything already pre-set. We may have some kind of thoughts about some of the things we want to accomplish in this lifetime, but there's quite a bit of freedom to attain that in different experimental ways. Do I understand that correctly?

MELORA:Yes! We have said that in your Soul Group, for example-and your Soul Hierarchy-as that expresses at "your end" of the hierarchy, in embodiment in third-dimension, you do have motifs as a group or as a hierarchy and issues that you want to explore when you come into embodiment in every lifetime. So, for example, the Pallas Athena motifs would be Freedom, civilized behavior, the arts, Truth, Courage . . . do you see? You will come into embodiment with these being impressed at the Soul level, but then once you get there, anything can happen. As a result of those impressed motifs that you have chosen to explore, you will attract certain experiences to you, but those experiences have not been selected ahead of time.

ER: In my soul group or hierarchy, what are some of the motifs that we're trying to embody or that kind of characterize our lineage.

MELORA: It is interesting that what we're being given as a motif for you is more what's holding you back. For example, you can say somebody is stubborn and judge that as "bad," but the flip side of that is that they're also very loyal. If you throw out stubborn, you throw out loyal. Answering your question has to do with something that is similar to that, regarding what's holding you back.

There is such a drive for integrity in the way you conduct yourself and appear to be to others whom you serve. We realize this is very convoluted, but we will give you some examples to try to explain. At the core of what we're trying to describe here is your requirement for dignity and to be treated with dignity. At the same time, you have a desire to "let your hair down" and not be up on a pedestal, because you have found how much pressure is involved in maintaining that-and that the dignity is not worth the loss of freedom and expansiveness that your Soul would really like to experience. And so at the core of the dignity motif would be integrity of being.

Now, where we are, we are not as hard on you as you are on yourself about what integrity means. In this world, what happens is that you have all this propaganda from the church and society-socially current delusions, and whatever. Whenever you fall for those structures, it goes against your being-ness. In a way, you have yourself shackled because of looking at the reflection back from things that are not really appropriate to tell you about whether you're in integrity or not.

ER: Yes. Could you give me another example?

MELORA: We will keep going, and of course everything about you is complex.

ER: [laughs] Thank you.

MELORA: We're trying to get there. Integrity of Spirit requires you to love yourself (not out of ego), and so if you're kind to all of these people but you're not kind to yourself, you come out of integrity with yourself. It's not okay to mistreat yourself any more than it would be okay to mistreat others.

Back to integrity, what we're receiving is that your concept of integrity places a burden of behavior upon you in certain situations-especially professional situations-that fills you with tension and that makes you feel constricted. Even though you need to feel the dignity, you need to feel the respect, and you need to feel that you're serving, it's kind of been backfiring for a long time. It's not really giving you what you need, and it's not really expressing who you are as a being in integrity. What we're receiving is that the more you pay attention to, and respond to, your being-ness regarding this motif, the more happy rewards you will get.

All of the impediments to your being-ness have to do with 3rd-dimensional concerns, and so trusting yourself, as a being, that you will be able to actualize your dreams is the sticking point here.

ER: Definitely. And then one last question for me about my guides: I have a duality here. I feel like I'm always in contact with them, but then I don't think I am at all. I think I work with them so much with my inner . . . that I think they're such a part of me that I don't even feel them anymore or acknowledge them anymore. I know that sounds totally crazy, and I can't put it into words.

MELORA:You know, our Jyoti has discussed this with us before, and we have said that your guides are always there, whether you're aware of them or not. This might apply to our Jyoti's question. We'll see. Your guides may not be the same guides that you used to have, and so you are perhaps feeling that they're not there because they're not the ones you're used to. There are so many stimuli around you, and so much information coming in that you're intuitively receiving, and so forth, that there's just kind of a lot of static, and you just need to "tune into that station"-the frequency of those guides-on purpose. And all you have to do is ask.

There's a main guide with male energy-an almost monk-like energy, but not in any oppressive sense. This guide is choosing this energy and form as a quasi-religious figure: someone you would call "Father" and that you would trust, but not the stereotypical Catholic monk. More like Francis of Asissi that you trust as a being and would call "Father." That's what the energy of this guide feels like. It really is someone you would go to, not as a father confessor but as someone to ask advice of and counsel from.

ER: I would like to address some of the questions that my friend, Jyoti, has in regards to this incredible sense, sometimes, of separateness--

MELORA: All the time . . .

ER: --or aloofness from her Higher Self . . . whether this is an intentional thing. If you could clarify that for us a little bit more.

MELORA: Yes. We would be happy to do so. We heard two things right off the bat. The first was how many times in our Jyoti's lifetime people have mistakenly considered her to be aloof and indifferent, when actually she is quite the contrary. We could call it an introversion that is energetic and not just an expression of our Jyoti as more introverted than extroverted. It is a whole different way of perceiving reality and reacting to reality when you're an introvert, versus when you're an extrovert. And yet this is the way she perceives her own Higher Self to be: indifferent and aloof.

The second thing is that our Jyoti's concept of her Higher Self and her attempts, if you will, to connect to her Higher Self, largely are intellectual-largely come from her mind, not her heart. These attempts also reflect a total lack of nurturing and parenting in her current lifetime. So her reality, for example, practically since birth, has been: "They don't care about me; they don't like me. " There's no parental connection that allows her to look at herself as having any sort of parental-type connection or to accept the possibility of that. (This is not the answer she was expecting.) And so, her Higher Self would respond if our Jyoti could approach her Higher Self from her heart, which is a very difficult thing for her to do. The belief that "they're just not there" is so deeply entrenched.

In a conversation with a so-called "psychic" reader on the phone about three months ago, our Jyoti became very frustrated when the woman said, "All you have to do is reach toward your Higher Self." And our Jyoti said: "I am tired of reaching toward my Higher Self. I want her to reach toward me!" And, as with the answer to your question about whether your guides are really there, we would say to our Jyoti that her Higher Self is very much there. She even asked once: "Is my Higher Self retarded or something?" Remember that one? [laughs] (Her Higher Self does not begrudge that comment.)

So, really, the victory for our Jyoti in this entire lifetime is to learn to open her heart and not be afraid just to "step off the cliff" and "go for broke."

ER: That's easier said than done.

MELORA: Of course.

ER: When you're in this incarnate body and you've been mutilated in the past, it's really hard to bring your heart out on a platter-the sense of trust is huge. How can Jyoti's Higher Self, and her guides, and the people like us who love her, support her on this journey. It's sure not an easy one, from where we see it.

MELORA: The truth is that our Jyoti is afraid that she'll just break apart. She's afraid that if she lets go to that extent, she'll be annihilated-and not even from outside herself. Kind of implode. It's something that she needs to deal with gradually but regularly, so that she can work through it. It is probably the pain-at the core-that she's afraid of and that she masks constantly. But she has made it much bigger than it really is in the sense of fearing going to that core-fearing the feeling of what's really under there that's she's tried so hard for so many years to heal . . . and that we're feeling so intensely with her now. It is something that she needs to do and that she keeps avoiding doing.

ER: Is there any technique that is available to us that--

MELORA: She's saying "amnesia." [laughs]

ER: "Amnesia." [laughs] Anything that might be helpful for her? To kind of approach this in a systematic, comfortable way?

MELORA: No. We're hearing that this feeling of disconnect from her Higher Self is a pivotal sign, or a pivotal emblem, of the problem itself. We're sensing that it would be easier for our Jyoti, sincerely and intensely, from her heart, to ask for that connection with her Higher Self and not say: "You owe this to me" and "Why aren't you reaching back toward me?" and some four-letter words. Like a temper tantrum of a child that is not getting what it wants. That is the unhealed child in her that is really mad and hurts.

ER: Could a form of Jyoti that is the adult intercede?

MELORA: She has tried this, but it hasn't worked so far.

ER: It doesn't have to be right now, but if you could clarify this--

MELORA: What we would like to attempt here is . . . we say "attempt" because, if you understand the strange situation of our speaking through Jyoti while we say we would like to connect her with her Higher Self . . . It's a kind of schizophrenic thing, but our Jyoti's become used to it over our years of working with someone else who is asking questions for her in her behalf. Give us a moment.

We are endeavoring to give our Jyoti a visual representation of her Higher Self-not just her usual impression of "a blank wall"-to give herself some kind of form, so that she can relate to her Higher Self. Up until this point, she has decided that she might as well not have a Higher Self, do you see. This disconnection is so extreme that it is as though she cannot even imagine she has a Higher Self.

We are giving her physical sensations as well-what you have when there's a real person there with you. [long pause while I experience my Higher Self] Okay. That's helping. [another long pause while I experience my Higher Self for the first time] All right. We did not want to interrupt her experience by commenting while it was going on.

The breakthrough here for our Jyoti, who always claims she's not very visual, is that she was given a very powerful visual representation of her Higher Self coming toward her . . . with beautiful light and a sense of movement, and with the gown and robes flowing back and away from "the form" of her Higher Self. And our Jyoti was seeing the light and feeling angelic kinds of energies. The important thing is that we are making this real for our Jyoti, because she used to feel nothingness when she would think of her Higher Self or try to contact her Higher Self.

This was an impressive entrance of her Higher Self as we helped our Jyoti feel her Higher Self's energy. It is definitely a female Higher Self, with beautiful golden blonde hair. No angel "wings" but a sense of power-great power-and yet a calm center, andshe was just flying toward our Jyoti. Flying through space and time to our Jyoti, and then enfolding her in her arms. And our Jyoti is saying: "That's enough-enough for right now." But we know this is a big breakthrough, and so we can start here and continue with this as time goes on.

Now that our Jyoti has this image, she can close her eyes and feel what it feels like and imagine it, which is often the way we have counseled clients in the past. This is a very positive, good first step, and we thank you for inquiring in our Jyoti's behalf.

ER: Any messages that her Higher Self wants to give Jyoti? Not extensive, but any words of wisdom?

MELORA: Well, our Jyoti wishes to keep this private, because the thing she abhors the most is crying in front of other people. And kindness melts her down. We thank you, but this is something she will need to be committed to: taking time to explore this and to feel all of the love that is really there for her but that she hasn't believed is there for her, in spite of her calling her Higher Self "retarded." In fact, as you can imagine, her Higher Self is quite the opposite.

ER: [laughs]

MELORA: Our Jyoti wouldn't be as smart as she is if her Higher Self were "retarded." We thank you for helping our Jyoti by asking these questions.

ER: It's because we love Jyoti.

MELORA: And did you have any other questions for yourself?

ER: Would it be appropriate to ask for help in meeting my Higher Self?

MELORA: Absolutely! Since you are so visual, this should be a lot easier for you than for our Jyoti, although she is more visual...

ER: --than she gives herself credit for.

MELORA: All right. If you would start breathing very deeply--as deeply as is comfortable. Don't force it. When you let your breath out, let it out totally, so that you can get rid of the carbon dioxide and other toxins as you breathe out. So breathe as deeply and comfortably as comfortable. What is the question of your heart that you want to convey to your Higher Self. If this is private, you can just tell us so, and then just think of it or sense it, and then we will help direct that to your Higher Self.

ER: I am sensing it.

MELORA: What we would like you to see to start out with is a beautiful female hand in the sky, and you will see the rest of the form later. But reach toward that beautiful hand. It's not a disembodied hand; it's attached to someone. [laughs] You will begin to see the shape and form of your Higher Self as you take the hand of your Higher Self and as it comes toward you in time and space in this beautiful sky. Are you seeing that? That the hand is attached to a beautiful form?

ER: Um hmm.

MELORA: The form now starts to become clearer. It's as though the form of your Higher Self is coming out of the clouds, and you are able to see more and more of this form. And please tell us if that is happening for you.

ER: Very much so.

MELORA: If you wish, describe the form of your Higher Self as you are experiencing her.

ER: She looks very Asian, actually, which surprises me.

MELORA: It shouldn't. What about your devotion to Quan Yin and what about your children?

ER: Yeah. That's true. Hello!

MELORA: Hello. All right. And now we would like you to feel all of your senses. Is there are scent? There's a floral scent, isn't there?

ER: Yeah. You know, it almost smells like linden. I love linden/freesia flower. It's kind of a linden and almost a honeysuckle smell. Kind of that sweetness, you know?

MELORA: And are there sounds associated with your Higher Self-a rustling of clothing?

ER: Yeah. Yeah. It's like she's dancing-not just dancing but just kind of this beautiful flowing motion. Almost like a martial arts form . . . like kung fu. Not in a fighting style-

MELORA: Right. As an art.

ER: Round motions, like circles.

MELORA: Like Tai Chi?

ER: A little quicker and faster than Tai Chi.

MELORA: What you're experiencing now is a description of how you realize your dreams: movement from here to there. And you see it does not have to be like martial arts. You don't have to be a warrior in order to go from here to there. Be an artist with what you already know and who you already are. She's smiling. [laughs] Very affectionate energy there.

ER: Very much so. I feel like a little kid, and she's just so smiley and accepting of who I am.

MELORA: It's almost as though she's performing for you, putting on a little show for you to entertain and uplift you, and to show you the artistry of your Soul. We keep hearing this phrase.

ER: Wow! This is really special. Thank you.

MELORA: It is the artistry that will take you there-not your brain, not your intellect, but the dance, the movement. And we're hearing that she requests that you bring your children and husband in and that you all dance with her. See what happens.

ER: [laughs] It's like a reunion. And she's gotten bigger.

MELORA: She would like you to join hands with your children and your husband in a circle. She's going to provide energy to support this dance. She wants you to feel the shift from having this feel kind of odd and then natural to having it be open, joyful and expansive. Please tell us if and when you get to that point.

ER: Almost there.

MELORA: Just enjoy it with all of your senses; just open your heart to it.

ER: There's a little resistance and fear from [her son].

MELORA: So have your Higher Self come over to him, embrace him or enfold him, and just feel that tension resolving. And have him look into her face and see beyond his being a boy in Boulder, Colorado, and see her with his Soul-and see his many lifetimes and feel the connection with the Asian spirit-the Asian, Zen understanding of the flow of life.

ER: Much better.

MELORA: Um hmm. Because he's Westernized, he will have forgotten temporarily that Asians do not look at "this is the beginning" and "this is the end." The angles go away and nature, and the flow of things and the movement of things, all continue . . . not so much the sense of past, present and future of the Western mind. Your movement as a being from "here" to "there" is just movement-not a beginning and not an end.
And now we are being asked to bring your mother into the middle of the circle that you're forming with your husband and your two children. We would like you to see her transformed, and you know this doesn't mean that suddenly she's going to become well in this lifetime.

ER: Exactly.

MELORA: But we would like you to see her take on a radiance as she becomes liberated from this lifetime that has been so difficult for her. See the radiance of her as a being, now, grow brighter and brighter. And tell us if this is happening for you.

ER: Um hmm.

MELORA: Just stay with that so that you can be assured that this is really what you're moving toward with her and what you are wishing to help facilitate for her: her liberation. And has she transformed in any way?

ER: Um hmm.

MELORA: Good. We would like you to look at yourself and see if the same thing has happened to you: see your radiance come up, not that you're going through transition, but see your radiance come up as you dance around your mother in a circle with your husband and your children. Then see the radiance of your children and your husband come up just like Christmas lights! This is very powerful, isn't it?

ER: Very much so. [sighs]

MELORA: We would like you to experience that your Higher Self gives all of you a blessing. [pause] What form, or forms, are the blessings taking? Is she bringing incense. Is she bestowing light, color?

ER: [pause] More like a globe around all of us, including my Mom.

MELORA: All right. And see this as protective and not constrictive, and so let the "globe" not be too solid. Have it be protective but not the kind of protection that would keep everything out. You want all these wonderful things to be coming in now to support. We're seeing the globe more as the support for your family as a group.

ER: It's [the globe] almost like that movie with Jodie Foster, with everything moving in all directions. It's cool.

MELORA: Very good, and it is about going "home." This was so in that movie as well. All right, and just so that we can gently "disconnect," have all of you say goodbye to your wonderful Higher Self. She is, of course, honoring all of you-those you love so much. Now see them go back to wherever they were before. Now you and your Higher Self are together. Get as close to your Higher Self as you feel comfortable. Let her hold you if that is comfortable. Just feel what it feels like to be nurtured by her and loved by her. We see you almost as a small child: five years old, looking up into her face.

ER: That's exactly it.

MELORA: Let yourself feel all that love . . . "and healing," she said. And healing.

ER: It's kind of cool: She's giving me back some of the fire I've lost.

MELORA: Mmm. Stay with that.

ER: [sighs]

MELORA: See if she has a message for you. It's more fun if you can find it out for yourself, but if you need our help we are, of course, here for you.

ER: Um, probably a little help...

MELORA: Don't give up so soon. [laughs] Stay with it.

ER: I see fireworks or something.

MELORA: What does that feel like?

ER: Joyous.

MELORA: Good. It's not something for your brain to interpret. It's like "Yippee!" A celebration, and fireworks are AWESOME! Sometimes loud, even-hard for a Libra.

ER: A double-Libra.

MELORA: Loud and boisterous joy . . . joy with abandon . . . and light . . . exploding.

ER: --which is pretty happy.

MELORA: Does that surprise you?

ER: No. I guess not, but I wasn't sure.

MELORA: There's a coyness-almost a flirtatiousness but, of course, higher beings don't really flirt. It has to do with how they express joy and how they express affection. And so she has this coy little smile, and we see the fan coming up to cover the face a little bit because she's smiling behind the fan. There's a playfulness. That's it. That's what it is, and definitely Asian.
The word "artistry" keeps coming, so what we will give you for your homework is to explore your own artistry. "How am I an artist?" "Why does that word keep coming up," and "Why is it that Melora said that artistry-not your mind--is what will help you realize your dreams."

ER: Does artistry include writing?

MELORA: Artistry includes everything that expresses you as a being. It's not about work; it's not about a profession. It's about your qualities as a being and your expressing them.

ER: Interesting.

MELORA: It's a totally different way of functioning in the world.

ER: Yeah, it really is.

MELORA: A lot more fun. [laughs]

ER: [laughs] Melora, you are incredible! Thank you: both you and Jyoti.

MELORA: It is our very, very great pleasure.

ER: This is one of the most transcendent experiences I've ever had.

MELORA: Well, we wish to assure our Jyoti that we are indeed here. It's not a matter of "Melora is back." Melora never went away. And so our Jyoti had said before the session: "I will totally let go of my ego; I will not have my personality involved when Melora comes through." It has been our very great pleasure to serve you in the Light, and we are Melora.